The First of the Lasts

Yesterday was the last day of classes at DIS. It's a little bit crazy to actually write that, and I have a sad feeling that this is the first of many "lasts" that I will share about here. However, the day was incredibly fun and exciting, and I ended on a happy note in many ways.

During my Danish class, our professor collected us from the classroom and brought us to the park at the Rosenborg Castle. There were even more Danes out and about, sprawled on the grass and in the gardens, and our group trekked across the grounds to an ice cream parlor!

On the walk through the park

 Ditte Marie (our professor) told us that we had enough money in our class budget for all of us to have an ice cream cone with two scoops of our choosing. The catch... we had to order in DANISH!

Liz ordering like a pro! The employees were very patient and kind (and clearly amused)

We collected our cones and went to spread out on the lawn.

Part of the class enjoying our tasty treats!

While we ate, Ditte Marie lead a discussion about the things we've gained from our time here, the things we will miss most, and the things we will remember when we look back at our experience years from now. My classmates' responses included:

Ditte Marie leads our discussion

• Gaining: confidence, independence, a sense of being able to get around new places successfully, new friends, new possibilities for future studies, new ideas about values and culture
• Things we will miss/and remember: the relaxed and easy-going nature of the Danes, a society that isn't driven solely by achievement, the emphasis on hygge (coziness and togetherness), the biking culture, the architecture and design of the city, our host families, the feeling of safety and security, gender equality

All too soon, it was time to say goodbye to each other. We've already had our written final exam and have given our final presentations to the class, so our last assignment is a paper to be turned in at any point before the 14th. This means that many of us won't be seeing each other again. After a few hugs, we split ways. I wandered back through the park, stopping to take pictures of the scene.

SO MANY groups of mothers with their babies' prams parked underneath trees

The grass was FILLED with people sunning themselves, picnicking, playing frisbee or badminton, or simply talking

I especially loved passing groups of people my age, with their bikes left in a heap, drinking beers/ciders and just talking together

After a final Applied Psychotherapy class, I spent the afternoon working on my Danish paper in an empty classroom on the 4th floor of one of the DIS buildings. At 6 o'clock, I went to meet up with Becca and Cara to walk to our end of the year psychology dinner. Every core course has a big final hurrah, and we'd heard from pretty much every other class that it was just a nice sit-down dinner. The evening was fantastic, but was about as different from what we had imagined as could possibly be...

When we got to the location, there was a tiny bar area with two small tables and about 8 chairs. There were two sections of Positive Psychology at our event (meaning 42 students and about 8 staff members)... there was no way we were all fitting at those tables. There was another large room, which was completely empty. When the staff members brought out sandwiches, each individually wrapped in a sub bag, we collected them, and sat on the floor (most people in nice clothes since we were expecting a fancy meal) eating them and wondering what was going on...

Before the festivities began (and oh boy, were there festivities!), I had the amazing honor of receiving the award for academic excellence in the psychology program for the semester! I was totally shell-shocked and obviously very excited. The psychology program director said some really nice things about my engagement and personal reflection and gave me a certificate (and a monetary gift from DIS).

I'll use this opportunity to explain a situation about a different DIS award, this one which I applied for, and which I did not win. I think I've done a good job of sharing my experience here very authentically and fully. Given how much this incident has effected me the past few days, I've decided to share it here too, but please be gentle with your judgment:

The Intercultural Leadership Award is presented to one DIS student each semester, and the prize is an all-expenses paid trip back to Copenhagen to give a speech to incoming students during arrival week of Spring 2014. I had applied for the award and poured a lot into my application, describing the process of immersing myself, becoming integrated into Hellesen family life, blogging, writing school newspaper columns, taking photos, and taking risks to have new experiences. After a lot of editing and revising, pulling together photos and descriptions from blog posts, I submitted my application... I was proud! I received an email on Saturday telling me I was a finalist for the award... I was ecstatic!

Then, on Monday morning I received another email from administration, this one telling me there had been an error, and that I was not in fact a finalist.  In a somewhat insensitive way, they told me that they had simply sent the wrong email. I was crushed. I quickly realized that the award itself was not really what I was sad about at all... suddenly, the fact that I am leaving Denmark with no definitive date of return hit me and sent me into a tail spin. Thinking that I would be able to mark a date on the calendar when I'd bike the city streets again, curl up with the dogs in front of the fire, and join the Hellesens for a family meal had made the idea of leaving infinitely easier. Now I had to face going home without that comfort.

Over the rest of Monday I went back and forth between being mad and sad, overwhelmed and disengaged. I have just under 40 pages of papers to write in the next 9 days when I would obviously rather be hanging out with my host family and friends or exploring the city. What I kept coming back to was not wanting to say goodbye. So when Mira presented me with my flowers yesterday, her kindness was more than I could take.

However, I woke up Tuesday morning determined to make it a better day! I made a list of the ways I could make my papers more interesting for me. I added a few final items to my Denmark "Bucket List". I wrote out the places I still want to visit and the people I still want to see. I made a schedule for getting my work done. I blasted music as I got ready for school. I took the longest way to the train, soaking up the sun and warm air. I'd be back. And, since I'd get to pick my own timeline for my return, I'd wait until it was springtime or summer.

Fast forward to receiving my award last night, I immediately knew that I want to put my cash gift towards my return trip. Being honored doesn't make going home any easier, but it was certainly nice to feel like I've been able to demonstrate the engagement and application of material that is so important to me.

With the award out of the way, we could begin with the main activity for the night... TRADITIONAL DANISH FOLK DANCING! When I told Lars and Helle that evening, Helle said, "Umm... I'm not really sure what that is..." Let me show you...

yep! traditional Danish folk dancing, done to the tune of a live fiddler!

I don't think I have laughed so hard in a longggg time (which says something because I've done a lot of laughing here). Watching my classmates spin and skip and hop around the room gave me an even higher level of respect for them.

Cara and Sharon ready to move! 

 Some of the staff members took videos, and if they are posted I will DEFINITELY put a link. You also have to imagine that it was about 90 degrees in the room (which had no ventilation). We were pouring sweat and my feet (and throat... I've been fighting a cold for the past few days) were aching by the end, but I left still laughing.

As we exited the building, someone commented, "Well, that was about as different from what I was expecting as was possible!" True, but (at least personally) true in a very good way.

I'll end with a bit of application to Positive Psychology: One of the main tenets of the field is this idea of PERMA (positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, achievement) being linked to wellbeing. In my opinion, the night was an excellent representation of PERMA, with our activities providing opportunity for contributing to every letter:
Positive emotions: definitely felt those when dancing around the room like fools
Engagement: I think it is safe to say we were all pretty engaged
Relationships: No better way to bond than making a total fool of yourself
Meaning: The night really drove home the message of learning outside of the classroom and living our experiences to the fullest
Achievement: Mastering THREE traditional Danish folk dances! :-)