Jeg kommer til at savner...

Okay, I lied. There is one more thing I want to show you before permanently signing off. In my attempts to deal with missing Denmark and the Hellesens, I've been watching this video quite a bit. I promised to show you somewhere along the way so I figured I'd post it now as my final goodbye. 

Last weekend, Mira and I were doing one of our favorite activities: taking photos with the "Photobooth" function on my computer. I said something about how I was going to miss her a lot and she had a fabulous idea: make a video of us talking together, "since you can't hear me in a photo!" The result is below. Now you get a tiny taste of why I am missing my host sister (and family) so much!

And with that, I really do sign off. Publishing my posts this morning felt far too rushed (I was running out the door) so now I am taking the time to let this final post sink in. It's been quite a journey, and I thank you all for taking it with me!

Tusind tak! LOVE
sara

A final reflection

I'm now in my bed looking around a room that I've called my own for the past 4 months. It doesn't look like my room anymore with nothing on the walls and my little closet lined with empty hangers. I've been dreading this day and this moment for weeks, but for now I am feeling strangely okay. I guess you could say that I am in a place where I am actually feeling ready to move forward; not ready to leave, but still ready to move forward. It may be fleeting, but I'll take it!

Today was as magical as I could have hoped for. I went to the airport, dragging friends' luggage despite a hurt foot, and I watched host families hugging their students goodbye. As I waved to and hugged my friends, the fact that we are leaving settled in once and for all. Something occurred to me, It's not just me that is leaving. Even if I stayed behind, it wouldn't be the same. We're all sad. We're all grateful. Like it or not, we're all moving on. And yes, tears were shed, but when I got back on the train, I was determined to make the most of the day and to see where my experiences and feelings led me.

On the way to the train station

After back and forth about the condition of my foot and whether it was a good idea for me to go into the city with Mira for a "sister shopping date" on Stroget (the main shopping street in CPH), I decided to tough it out. We'd been waiting for this date since I first arrived in January. Mira had apparently told her entire class that she was going to shop on Stoget with Sara. I am so glad that we went!

We took the train, listening to my iPod together and singing along to a combination of Danish and American music. We walked the route I walk to school and stopped in the stores I've passed, but had never before entered. I purchased some last-minute souvenirs. We got giant ice creams and went to sit at Nyhavn while eating them. I took in the sites and sounds and whir of the bicycles and found myself smiling. I'm leaving yes, but I'm taking so much of this city and my life here with me.

Stoget! The main shopping/pedestrian street

Miss Mira, SO happy to be out and about on Friday afternoon 

In front of her favorite store

Ice cream and talking at Nyhavn!

bike parade in the city

Eventually Helle, Lars, and Kasper joined us and we enjoyed a meal where I presented them with a framed photo collage and they presented me with the most beautiful necklace: an owl (my favorite animal and, they explained, a sign of my "wisdom") with a note that brought me to tears (yet again). They told me they expected the house would feel empty without me, but that they know we will see each other again (in just a 1.5 months time). They said that they are trying not to be sad that I am leaving, but just to be so happy and grateful that I ever came. I will miss them all so much, but I know that even though they are no longer my hosts, they will certainly always be a part of my family.

Back home we went taking the train together. It was good to have them with me to talk as we commuted; it made it so that I wasn't able to focus on the "last time I am walking by the flower market or through Central Station," the "last time I am taking the S-tog and biking home." It was a conscious effort, but thanks to their support I made it through the whole trip without shedding a tear. Once at home, Mira and I jumped on the trampoline for a few minutes (very gently because of my foot) and then looked at some of my nearly 3,000 photos I've taken. She gave me the sweetest note and scrapbook pages of photos from our time together. She and I both cried. I think I will try to post the video that we made together last weekend. 

As one by one the Hellesens went to bed, wishing me good night, I finished my packing and sat down to blog. Baloo and Junior occupied the space at my feet while Lars watched a terrible movie on TV. It all felt so natural and comfortable and I know that I will miss it, but I am keeping in mind that I am returning home to people and places I love. I decided in that moment that I am allowed to have two homes: one in the US and one here. And I know I'll be back. There's no doubt in my mind. 

The past four months have been a gift greater than I ever imagined they would be. I have learned more about myself than I thought there was to discover. The fact that I am so sad to leave is only a reflection of how lucky I have been. My friends have tried telling me, "Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened." I'm giving myself permission to do both. I am grateful it happened, but also sad that it's over. I am excited to go home, but wishing I could stay. I'm in a transition phase, one that I expect will last a while. But that's okay. 

It's now the 12 hours after I started this post and I'm sitting in the airport in Amsterdam. This morning I got up, stripped my bed, checked my drawers, got into my one clean outfit, and joined my family in the dining room for a surprise Danish breakfast from our favorite bakery as a goodbye treat! They even got me two pastries in addition to our bread. :-) 

I got choked up as I kissed Junior and Balloo goodbye and commented that it wasn't a good sign that I was getting emotional when saying goodbye to the dogs! We all got in the car and drove off to the airport. The last song that came on the radio as we arrived was Thrift Shop, which brings back some of my most fun/hilarious memories of Saturday mornings with the Hellesens. When the song (which is basically a ridiculous rap/pop song from the States) was very popular, Kasper would insist on adding it to the music that Lars played on YouTube so on more than one occasion I emerged from my room on Saturday morning to Thrift Shop blasting from the computer room and would walk down the hall to find everyone (Lars, Kasper, Helle, and Mira) doing their various activities and singing along (to the ridiculous and sometimes inappropriate lyrics). This morning, we all sung as we drove and then got my suitcase out of the car. We’d arrived.

They walked me into the airport and I held it together pretty well until it was time to give everyone hugs. It was a very, very sad and hard goodbye, but thank god I know that I will be seeing them again in July. I walked through security (tears still streaming down my face, by the way) and found my gate. I slept from literally the moment that I got on the plane until someone shook me awake as the last of the people were getting off in Amsterdam. So here I sit, writing these final posts and looking through my many pictures. And right now, at this very moment, I am smiling, because yes, it happened. 

Of the many things I've learned and gained, I think three are worth noting in this last post:

1. I benefited from daily reminders of just how much the people in my life affect me and contribute to my happiness. I have no doubt that this experience was what it has been because of the relationships I've built while simultaneously developing my own independence. 

2. I have a very conscious awareness of what it is that matters most to me. The topics of these posts, the reasons I love Denmark, and the highlights of my days have helped me to understand what I want to incorporate into my life when I return home. 

3. On a related note, the thing that I am most proud of and the thing that has perhaps been my greatest realization has been understanding the importance of balance in my life. The Danes do balance very well: they have the best work-life balance in the world, foster both a sense of independence and simultaneous community at every level of society, manage time with friends and time with family, time relaxing and time exploring, time learning from books and time learning from doing, and do it all with a sense of calmness and lack of stress that was completely foreign upon my arrival. I think ultimately that this is one of the essential reasons that Denmark scores as the happiest country on earth: people approach life with a relaxed, balanced, and trusting attitude. I'm proud to say that I achieved this sense of balance (between school and play, host family and friends, relaxing and exploring) and have decided that while there are many parts of my Danish life I cannot bring home, I can certainly work to achieve balance in my life anywhere that I live. I’m working on ways to do this as I head home for a summer fellowship and thesis preparations, but I think I’m up for the challenge!

I thank you, dear reader, for taking this journey with me. Having the time and space devoted to sharing the things I've learned, the ups and downs and in betweens, the daily discoveries, the insights and new perspective gained, and my quest to make the most of what I know will always be considered four of the best months of my life has made a huge difference in my growth and well-being. And so I will say, I couldn't have done it without you.

And with that, I sign off.

Vi ses, Danmak! Tak for alt. Jeg kommer til at savne dig.

Thanks for everything. I am going to miss you. 

Transformations

I've watched Copenhagen undergo the most amazing transformation. At first quite unintentionally, and then later intentionally, I was taking some of the same photos in the spring as I had in the winter. The result is a very clear documentation of the changes that the city undergoes

The park by our house at 4:15 the first day

The same park at 9:45pm last week

Rosenborg Castle

The playground near our house

The Main Square near DIS

The street right in front of DIS

3:45pm my first day

6:30pm my last day

On my walk to the train

Right behind our house

Nyhavn (the main harbor)

This one might me my favorite...

I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I LOVE Copenhagen all year round, but I love it even more in the Spring/Summer! I can't wait to come back in June or July. :-)

Reasons I Elsker DK #40-50

This is going to be a long one because I have quite a few reasons I love Denmark to share before I sign off for the semester. I have worked hard to limit myself to 50 items so although there are many, many more reasons I love Denmark, I will leave it here today.

Biker + Random horses with Danish flags on the cart

Reason #40: The ever exciting and surprising nature of Copenhagen! Practically every day I am in Copenhagen, I stumble upon something strange and wonderful. Sometimes it’s witnessing a moment between two school children, a protest of some sort, a neat street performer, or a person lugging something particularly impressive on their bike (two days ago I saw someone with a cello on her back and a large canvas in one hand). These past few days I’ve wandered into the following scene. It is very typical and things like this never fail to make me smile. I will miss stumbling upon things like dancing polar bears (and an accompanying boom box on a bike), school children singing in a choir on the side of the supermarket, a large piano that appeared in the middle of the main pedestrian street near the round tower, and bike parades.

Reason #41: Lack of a “consumer culture” The idea of Walmart or even Target is completely foreign in Denmark and because things are so expensive, people simply don’t buy as much. Everything is smaller here: houses, cars, stores, etc. but things are higher quality. Supermarkets are very, very small (though I’ll admit, are also extremely disorganized). You don’t buy in bulk… it’s not an option, so you buy what you need for the week. There is one small part of one small isle devoted to toiletries and when you want shampoo, you can basically choose between 3 types. I practically have a panic attack at the Target at home looking over the 50+ choices of shampoo in the isle devoted entirely to the 15+ brands, each with options for shampoo for dry hair, long hair, curly hair, increased volume, etc etc etc. Some people may like having choices, but I think it’s ridiculous. Further, most of the “biggest” houses/mansions in Denmark for the absolute wealthiest people would probably be considered upper-middle class homes in the US. And with less space to store “stuff,” you simply don’t accumulate as much. I mentioned back in March that for Kasper’s birthday he got two great presents: a gaming keyboard and new gaming headset. Then he got some money from his other family members (he wants to buy new soccer cleats). While I know that I was very lucky and this is not at all true of everyone in the US, I think that my experience growing up of getting multiple presents on holidays and birthdays is not unique. I have to say, I absolutely love the fact that while many Danes love to shop certainly enjoy clothes or shoe shopping, there is not this obsession with accumulating as much as you can.

Reason #42: Proximity to other countries! While abroad I’ve traveled to London, Amsterdam, France, Norway, and now am on route to Corsica and then Prague. Europe really is at your fingertips and for $75 its possible to hop on a plane and end up in another country with a completely different culture in 45-minutes time!

Rosenborg Slot in the Sprint

 Reason #43: Parks! Denmark is filled with parks and playgrounds that are gathering spots all year round. I’ve picnicked in several gorgeous locations recently and have played alongside the adorable Danish children in many playgrounds. People here revel in springtime weather. I’ve been enjoying it too.

Reason #44: Nyhavn in spring! The colors of the buildings, the street musicians, the groups of friends lounging in the sun while couples stroll hand in hand and people fill the patios of the harbor make Nyhavn during springtime one of my favorite places in Denmark.

Reason #45: The Springtime transformation! I loved this country and city in the winter, but I love it even more in the spring! Everything is different: the trees and bushes are lush shades of green, the streets are filled with people, the bike lanes are absolutely packed, the flowers are in bloom, and the city simply feels more alive. The cold and darkness of the winter makes the spring even sweeter!

Reason #46: Fountains! Fountains and squares are around every corner. During the spring, people dip their feet in the water, eat lunch or sip a drink, and lay (sometimes in very little clothing) soaking up the sunshine.

Reason #47: Daylight! When I first arrived in Denmark, it was pitch black by about 4:15pm. Last night I took a picture from the backyard at 10:15pm. It’s incredible! They’ve still got a month where the days will lengthen and by the solstice in June it will be light for about 20 hours of the day! Incredible!

An ad at the train station
for being a DIS host family

Reason #48: DIS! Spot number 49 has to go to the Danish Institute for Study Abroad, which provided me with the best experience of my life. The things I appreciate the most: The small class sizes, the truly amazing professors, a very wide variety of interesting course subjects, the most hands-on and experiential-based learning I’ve ever had, field studies every Wednesday allowing us to see and engage in the city around us and apply what we learn, the organized field studies (mine to western Denmark and then London), the housing options, the planning that goes into everything (i.e. having my transportation passes at the ready when I arrived), the integration of independent travel breaks, the class budgets that allowed each of our classes to go out to eat together, attend a movie/show together, and bond in many ways outside of the classroom, the many events, and their constant support in every aspect of life abroad.

picture from Kasper's 14th b-day
celebration with the WHOLE
family there together

Reason #49: Danish values! This has been the focus of many posts, but I want to formally state that one of the most significant reasons I love Denmark are Danish values. Equality, community, balance, sacrifice, family, hygge, independence, children/childhood, balance, sustainability, and peace are parts of daily life in Denmark that have made my time so meaningful.

Reason #50: The Hellesens! What can I say? The Hellesens are perhaps the main reason that I love Denmark. I know for a fact that I would have enjoyed my time abroad no matter where I lived, but I know that I could not have enjoyed it this much had I not lived with them. I felt like a part of the family from literally day 1, and have enjoyed every single moment I have spent with them. The things that I have learned from my observations, engagement in their lives, and relationships with them have been incredibly defining. Leaving my daily life with them is perhaps the hardest thing to say goodbye to (and yep, I’m crying now as I write this!). I said it before and I’ll say it again: they may no longer be my “hosts” but they will always, always be my family. I cannot wait to see them again this summer!   

A very very unexpected adventure

I am blogging from my iPod touch just to say that all my final posts will be posted tonight or tomorrow. Also as an added bonus you'll get a rundown of this insane adventure that my dad and I have wandered into. Luckily things have taken a turn for the better. let's hope it works out well!!!

More soon!!
Sara

A plan of action for my final posts

Note: This is mostly for me, but also for any reader who is interested in reading my final posts.

Bags are packed. Boarding passes printed. Final papers turned in. Tonight is my last night in Copenhagen and I have a busy day of travel ahead. I've written my "final reflection," but want to add 3 additional posts before I share it. Therefore, I plan to write them over the next 2 days and then post my last reflection. If you are interested, my final posts include:

A comparison of "then" and "now" (or "winter" versus "summer") in Denmark
Final scenes from Copenhagen
The last set of reasons I Elsker DK
and my end of the semester reflection.

I'm certainly sad, but I am feeling surprisingly ready! And now I sleep so I can function in the morning. ;-)

I could not ask for more

I'm sitting here in the living room on my last night in Denmark, and I am experiencing about a million different thoughts and feelings. I may or may not get to those in my post tonight because as much as I want to share them, I think I need to document the past two days first. I'll start with yesterday (Thursday).

Thursday goes down as one of the best days I've ever had (despite the fact that it was one of my last in Copenhagen). Tonight, as my bags wait all packed and ready at the door for tomorrow's early morning departure, I am content going through pictures and reliving the sunshine and happiness from the past two days.

Thursday morning started with me being majorly productive... packing, finishing papers, submitting forms,  etc., but the real fun started when I met up with Evan for a goodbye walk and talk. I haven't seen him as much since classes ended, so it was really nice to hear how his semester is finishing. We discussed what we anticipate Senior year being like and also talked about the nature of change and transitions. I will probably refer to some of our conversations in my later reflection on leaving. He also showed me a really cool little park, which came in handy later in the afternoon when Becca and I were looking for a picnic spot...

SO gorgeous!

The flowers around the garden were in bloom and many couples were sitting together on benches

At my picnic date with Becca: Barefoot, sunkissed, and totally happy

Cheese and crackers and grapes and M&Ms... 

...DELICIOUS!

Becca even brought a tiny Danish flag to make the meal celebratory 

She and I sat talking, also reflecting on the semester and what it will be like going back home. We lay on our backs basking in the sunshine and enjoyed laughing about some of the funnier moments in the three classes we have shared together. I'm really, really going to miss her, but I know that she and I will be friends from here on out.

Many other people had the same idea

We took a break for a photo by the fountain  

And even took a risk by putting our feet in (although no one else was doing it). 

The water was COLD, but very refreshing  

One of my new "happy places"

We eventually left the park and wandered toward Nyhavn, the harbor that one thinks of when thinking of Copenhagen. In fact, it is the background picture for this blog, but now I have my own set of photos!

It was FILLED with people! SOOOO many people

My favorite thing (other than the colors) is watching the people on the banks with their feet over the edge, often sipping wine or beer (since it's allowed to drink alcohol in public) while talking with friends

Every restaurant patio was filled with people 

Street art and balloon venders, street musicians, and ice-cream stands lined the harbor 

Eventually we made our way back to Becca's apartment where we said a temporary goodbye. I had to get home to meet the Hellesens for a family night out to see their favorite soccer team's very important game...

In Denmark professional sports leagues are designed in a very different way. If I chose to, I could create a team and then slowly work my way up to literally being a professional team. Anyone has the potential to rise to the top over time (or to fall back down). Soccer is a big deal (even bigger than handball) and there was a lot riding on this particular game. Brondby is the family's favorite team and was in jeaopordy of being moved from the highest division down a level (something that hasn't happened in years and years). To make sure the stadium was packed, the owners decided to make an offer: wear a yellow (their team color) shirt and you get in for free! We took that bargain...

All in yellow, ready to cheer! [note: Mira stayed home]

Before the game started we got dinner. Of COURSE it involved many, many hotdogs/forms of pork 

The stadium packed with fans

the "hardcore fans"

The game was SO MUCH FUN! I've never heard more cheering and singing. We were constantly on our feet and even I caught on to some of the songs. Lars have me the hint to simply make sounds whenever I didn't understand the words; he said that oftentimes even he doesn't understand them!

Brondby love...

And after 90 minutes of cheering and excitement...

VICTORIOUS!

I wanted to take note of the process of leaving the stadium. All in all, there were over 21,000 people there, but weren't any car parking lots close by. Instead, when you left you ran into this:

SO MANY BIKES

And traffic getting out?

After the game I returned home with my family, but only temporarily. I took a night bus/train into the city to join my friends in last minute packing since almost everyone left today. I had offered to assist with getting bags to the airport in the morning and it made waaaay more sense for me to be there when we needed to leave at 9:15 rather than having to leave my house really early. It ended up being fantastic. I had been getting depressed in my house thinking about leaving so the trip to the city made things seem infinitely less lonely and infinitely more special.

I fell asleep thinking about how much like home this city now feels. The ease with which I navigated the buses and train (despite construction/confusion), my ability to give directions to "tourists" (since I am temporarily a Danish citizen!), and my confidence on my bike at all hours leave me feeling like I really belong. However, the fact that we are leaving also began to settle in: the apartment was empty, all photos off the walls and bedroom doors vacant and ajar. My own suitcases lay [mostly] packed in my room at home. Yet I felt strangely at peace and almost entirely simply happy. It had been the most beautiful day of the entire semester and I spent it doing what I enjoy most: exploring, reflecting, and passing the hours with those who I love. I could not ask for anything more.