Ups and Downs

Well, they warned us it would happen and I didn’t believe them… yesterday was my first “down” day of the semester. It started out just fine, but as the day went on I found myself getting a bit overwhelmed. You can call it “culture shock” or “homesickness” because I think there were small components of each, but really, I think it was just a combination of longing to be more “settled” and feeling like I have an incredible amount to do and no time to do it all.

I’ll start with the small “culture shock” component. After an excellent core course meeting of Positive Psych (which seems awesome!) in the morning, I was frantically rushing to get on the bus to go meet the supervisor of my volunteer placement when I got an urgent email from Professor A (the teacher who took me to London last summer for the internship) about needing help with a manuscript. I guess I could have waited and put it off until after my meeting, but I wasn’t sure when that would end and when she needed the manuscript by. Given how extraordinarily helpful she has been (always, and especially with recommendation letters recently) I wanted to do my part for her, so I got to work. It didn’t really take too long (and was actually fun/fulfilling), but I then looked at the clock and realized I needed to get going.

I thought that the internship site was close enough for me to walk, but wanted to just get directions from the Danish version of mapquest, so I typed in the address and realized that it was definitely NOT close enough to walk… uh oh. So I quickly printed the directions (though I had to wait what seemed like forever for another student who was ahead of me to figure out the printer, inevitable since I was in a hurry).

I dashed off towards the bus, found the corner, and then looked at my map. Written below on the directions I had printed was written the following: “Important Message! [in English]” followed by a long paragraph in Danish! Again, uh-oh. I asked some Dane who was at the bus stop with me, and he read the paragraph and said, “Don’t worry about it. Just get on the bus,” and he actually showed a hint of a smile.

The bus was packed. I could barely squeeze through the mass of people enough to let those behind me get on. Once I was inside, I couldn’t see out the window to know where we were (and therefore where to get off). That was when the culture shock hit me. Why are there no street signs anywhere?! I thought (there are very few street signs in CPH, and virtually none that are well marked enough to see them from any sort of a distance). How the hell am I supposed to know when to get off? I could ask someone, but everyone is doing their thing and I don’t even know who to ask. I didn’t feel like explaining that I couldn’t speak English and instead I just craned my neck and tried to guess approximately how long we had been on the bus and compare it to the amount of time the directions said it would take for me to get to the stop.

When it was my turn I had to mumble (in English), “Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me,” as I pushed through the packed bus. Once safely outside I wandered in the general direction of the building and found it (surprisingly) no problem.

The place itself was really cool. I can tell I will meet some really interesting people and the staff seems really nice (I’ll say more after my next visit). But again, not speaking Danish made it hard.

As I walked back towards the train station I realized just how much not speaking a language can impact your comfort, confidence, and independence. I have no idea how to read street signs, or signs above bike racks, or signs at the train station. The thing that hit me was that I am feeling this way in a place where 85% of people do speak English (even though they don’t use it as their first method of communication). Imagine living in a place where no one speaks your language? I have an even deeper appreciation for immigrants now.

Then came the missing home piece, but I think that this is really just tied to feeling overwhelmed and slightly out of place. The overwhelmed piece, I should explain, had to do with my work. I have a lot, lot, lot to do, and still don’t have a clear idea of expectations of my Professors. I have been assigned a lot of reading, but don’t know the extent to which I should be taking notes outside of class, how much I should expect to rely on readings when studying for exams, etc. I am on the train to school now for my second Developmental Disorders, Danish, and Applied Psychotherapy classes so I expect to learn more today. I’ve found in previous experiences that when I feel overwhelmed is when I miss home.

However, in the evening I talked to Evan who very much helped me to feel better. Our chat helped me to realize two important things:

1. It’s okay that I don’t speak Danish, especially since most Danes speak English. He was right when he said that they don’t even mind speaking English. Sometimes they will even smile. :)

2. Our professors are teaching at a study abroad institute. They understand that we are here for more things than just school. If classes were the only important thing, we would simply be taking them at our home school. Hopefully, they are understanding and can adjust some of their expectations (we'll see about that though).

Today is already feeling better. I woke up and got ready to go. I will post this after classes, and I will probably post some pictures later as well. Vi ses (see you)!