ABCs of CPH

The following are a selection of  "definitions" from DIS's ABCs of CPH (Copenhagen) meant to introduce American students to the Danes and Danish culture before we arrive. Many of these made me laugh out loud. I can't wait to see which I experience as true.

Bacon
 Pork, pork. Pork! Many Danes consider bacon the ‘herb of the pig’ – hotdogs are wrapped in bacon (you can never have enough pork), pâté is topped off with bacon, and soup is served with dried rashes of bacon.

Bikes
 Danes are obsessed with bikes and no distance seems too far to bike. Danes have a tendency to describe distances in bike minutes instead of miles or kilometers. Furthermore, Danes are most likely the only people in the world who would ever notice what kind of bike you are riding, the width of the tires, the design of the saddle etc. Copenhagen is the world’s most bike friendly city. There are bike paths along all major roads and it is often quicker to get around by bike than it is on public transport or by car.

Blondes
 Yes, Copenhagen is full of ridiculously attractive blondes.

Boys Danish guys are used to very independent women. The concept of chivalry is more or less non-existant in Denmark. Forget everything about macho men, the concept is considered to be ridiculous. Danish guys will expect girls to be a bit cold at first.

Fashion
 There is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes. So regardless of heavy showers or blizzards everything goes on as normal, including biking around the city. In spite of the need of practical outfits it is still important for Danes to look fashionable and many Danish designers make limited editions of rain coats and rubber boots every fall.
 Danes tend to be well dressed.

Friends
 Danes tend to have a close circle of friends that they have known for ages. Danes don’t believe in superficial friendships and it can thus be hard to make friends with Danes. It is, however, not impossible and as soon as you have made a Danish friend you are guaranteed a friend for life.

Humor
 Danish humor is often seen as extremely rude and very often also offensive. Danes love jokes about everything that include bodily fluids. Include both and you will make the Danes laugh.

Mmm….
 One of the most common Danish conversation fillers. The use of mmm… does not nescessarily mean that the Danish person is uninterested.

Music Scene
 Copenhagen has a rich and varied music scene, by many characterized as one of the best in Northern Europe. The indie scene and the electro scene excel and give you the opportunity for some very unique cultural experiences.

Please 
Danish does not have a word for please.
 See political correctness

Political Correctness
 Unknown phenomenon to Danes.

Pork
 The main element in any Danish meal. There are five times as many pigs in Denmark as there are people.
 See food and bacon

Questions
 You will most likely have a lot of questions about Danish culture, customs and traditions. Never feel afraid to ask if something puzzles you. Danes are very helpful – you just have to ask.

Queuing
 The first thing Danes do upon entering a bank/pharmacy/post office is to look for a line to queue in. Danes just love to queue.  

Salt 
Danes love their salt and use it at all occasions; in the bacon, on the roads in wintertime, even in the candy. Danes just can’t get enough salt.

Small Talk
 Doesn’t really exist in Denmark. Danes do, however, love to talk about the weather.

Wienerbrød
 Danish pastry – highly addictive!

Women
 Sorry guys; but to be quite frank Danish women wear the pants in this country. Many American guys get the impression that Danish girls are made of Teflon – it seems like all attemps to strike up a conversation slide right off.